In the Flow of Motherhood

Dec 29, 2018

Once I left my full-time employment at the college and became a stay-at-home mom, a new chapter opened up in my life. It is one of my favourite chapters. My youngest daughter and I got to spend some quality time together while my eldest was in school. We went to the local play group, we sat at the nearby coffeeshop and read books while sharing lunch, I was enjoying this new pace. I loved cooking with my daughter (she still cooks with me to this day). My eldest really savoured the comfort of coming home to her mom. We would talk about her day while having a snack or creating a craft together. I was in my element.

Each summer with my daughters was my idea of heaven. It was warm out. I prepared picnic lunches and we headed off to the beach, we toured the local parks, we visited museums, petting zoos, water parks and, walked up the street to pet and feed the horses. I can’t even express how much I loved this time in our lives. It brought such joy to me to prepare their lunches and drive together to participate in fun adventures.

We also spent a great deal of time at home playing with princesses and castles which turned into creating stop motion videos, making plays with Mario stuffed characters and playing Mario Wii games. We ran around the yard, used the swings and pretended we were travelling from one dimension to another. We baked lots of sweets and made plenty of pit stops for ice cream. And, of course we spent a great deal of time drawing, painting and sculpting with play-doh.

I tried to create the best childhood ever for my girls and it was so satisfying to watch them enjoy our excursions and hear their laughter. By the time I started working for the local newspaper, I was taking the girls to community events on weekends in order to report on them. I have many fond memories of participating in treasure hunts, Pirate Day, the Dandelion Festival, Halloween celebrations, Christmas festivities and, of course, Canada Day.

As the girls made friends through school, I organized weekly play dates and, in the summer, we continued our adventures, taking a variety of friends with us.

My husband rarely joined us on our excursions. He worked, ran errands and prepared meals. I no longer minded. I was happy with our daughters during the week days, watching tv with my husband at night and going out for dates with him on Saturday nights. I would show him photos and share stories with him about silly things the girls had said or done. I understood that it was difficult for him to participate in these activities. He hated noise and couldn’t stay put for very long. Whenever he did join us, he usually wanted to leave after about an hour. It was obvious to all of us that he was not enjoying himself. We led parallel lives which sometimes overlapped.It was our normal.

Our daughters are older now. Many of the activities we once enjoyed together are “too childish” or “lame” in their opinion. I am so grateful that I was able to thoroughly enjoy these adventures at a time when they savoured every moment. We are very close and I treasure our relationship very much. Our closeness is the result of many decisions over the years, to be kind, respectful, loving, present, attentive and compassionate. It is one of my proudest accomplishments.