August 2018 Newsletter
Oct 1, 2018Welcome – I Am So Glad You’re Here!
I was born in July and summer is my favourite season. Last year, I was disappointed in our summer. We barely went swimming and spent way too much time indoors. Also, I generally set out to plan playdates but my daughters’ friends are busy and they end up not seeing much of them until the fall. This year’s weather has been sublime! My daughters have had so many play dates at our house and at their friends’ homes. It has been a busy holiday so far but filled with fun and friendship.
Every month, I start my newsletter with a Families Connect Challenge. This month is all about sharing our dreams and intentions. I have been reading books to help prepare the introduction to for my own book, The Mommy Monologues. One of the books I’ve been reading is, The Awakened Woman by Dr. Tererai Trent. She describes how women in her community have rituals to connect them to their roots, their home and their community. One of those rituals consists of “planting your dreams”. Dr. Trent believes that we each have a calling, “Your Great Hunger” and that feeding our hunger in a way that benefits others is our true purpose. I waited for the lunar eclipse from July 27th to the 28th of 2018 to do the following activity because it is a perfect time, energetically, to set intentions. Here are the steps for this activity:
Step 1-Talk to the children about the power of intentions and how it influences the way we act or communicate. Before we say something, we can ask ourselves if our intention is to help, clarify, give information, hurt the other person or make them like us (or something else).
Step 2-Set some intentions for yourself (eat healthier, fight less, de-clutter, do more for self-care, be more patient etc) and encourage your children to also choose some intentions. You may suggest some such as to try a food or an activity they normally resist, to include someone, to try to keep a space de-cluttered until school starts etc).
Step 3-Write down your intentions on paper. You should each have your own paper. You can use construction paper or lined paper. If your child is too young to write it down, you can write it for them.
Step 4-I recommend you fold the paper and place it into a container before you bury it. I used toilet paper rolls from our recycle bin. You can have the children paint the paper roll with non-toxic paints or draw on it with marker. We wrapped them in recycled wrapping paper.
Step 5-This part is fun because it’s messy. You find a place on your property where you can dig a hole and bury your paper. Ideally, it should be a low traffic area, well shielded from the elements. I know what you’re thinking, what property? If you don’t have any land, you could buy a clay pot from the dollar store, fill it with earth and cover your paper. The important part is to plant the “seed” that is your intention.
Step 6-Pick a smooth rock that you like to hold in your hand. That rock will be your reminder. Place it somewhere you can see it or feel it (on your dresser, in your pocket). Every day, spend some time contemplating or feeling your rock and thinking about your intentions. Ask yourself what actions you could take in that moment to bring you closer to your intention.
I would love to hear from you or see your art. Don’t forget to tag me if you share photos on your FB page or Instagram for your chance to win the Movie Pass for four (two adults, two children). The winning family will be announced on my Facebook page on December 23rd, 2018.
I have been doing research for my book, for the introduction to each section. If you participated in this book and I haven’t received your consent form or edits, you will be hearing from me. I plan to start working with Book Launchers in the fall to get The Mommy Monologues out into the world. I have been giving a great deal of thought to my business. I know storytelling is going to be a big part of my business whether I am speaking to groups, interviewing people, writing their stories or leading workshops. I have started a Life Visioning Process to get clear about which actions serve people in the best way. I love this quote from Michael Bernard Beckwith, “When there is willingness there is a way, but when there is willfulness there is a wall”. I put a great deal of energy into using my business for good but I often hit a wall. I know I need to step back and get clear on my vision first to make sure I am not just busy, but impactful.
I thoroughly enjoy interviewing a different artist each month for Awesome Artsy Moms. My videographer has moved to BC for work. I loved working with Andrew. He was punctual, friendly and professional. He was great with people and adapted to every situation. I have been searching for a replacement and I realize that it is difficult to afford this service. Andrew was a student when I hired him so he was very affordable. My vlog does not make money. I do it because I enjoy it, I want to promote moms who are artists, and I think it is inspiring to other women who are creative but not expressing themselves because they haven’t found their medium. This month, I was very excited to interview local artist, mother and vice principal, Tabitha Vaillant. I wasn’t able to hire a videographer in time so our interview will have to wait. You can find her on Facebook as Valliant Artwork. Stay tuned!
This month, on my blog, Anne’s Mommy Moments, I talk about our trip to London and Italy with our eldest daughter Molly when she was only 18 months old. I describe life with Molly at this age and explain how we decided to add another little one to our family. This decision led to many changes in our lives such as moving to Kemptville! You can read my blog here.
I decided to visit different groups of mothers to speak with them and learn about their experiences. Speaking in a group is different from talking one on one. We feed off of each other’s ideas and our conversations can take unexpected turns. I couldn’t find a mother from China so I read as much as I could. I was fascinated by all the conflicting information. I would love to speak to a real person but I will share what I’ve learned thus far.
The very first piece I read was extracted from a book by Amy Choa called Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Amy describes the strict approach to parenting of Chinese parents. Children are expected to do well in school, excel in classical music (piano and violin) and they are not praised for their effort, they are criticized until they achieve results. They teach modesty. Parents are like coaches, they take the lead and push their children to be the best. She compares this to our softer approach in North America where we praise our children for making an effort and go out of our way to protect their self-esteem.
On the other hand, I read about the legacy of the “one-child policy” implemented in 1979 and adjusted in 2016. Families had to have only one child, otherwise they were fined. As a result of this policy, the only child of each family was over-indulged leading to the term, “little emperors”. However, they also found that women were freer to pursue careers and education and the division of labour became more equal in the home. The wake-up call that ends the one-child policy, replaced by a two-child policy is the realization that one child was left to care for parents and grand-parents, referred to as “The 4-2-1 Problem”. In a culture where the elderly are respected and cared for by the younger generation, this left the older members of the community at risk. What blew my mind is that once the policy was adjusted, families were struggling to have a second child. The policy seems to have impacted fertility rates. There is so much to explore here and I am sad that I was not able to speak to an actual mother about this. I know there is as much diversity in Chinese moms as anywhere else but, for now, I had to rely on research.
Finally, on Mama’s Toolbox, I interview professionals every month to ask them questions that I think moms would want to ask. My guest this month was Shulamit Her Levtov, owner of Compassionate Support for Stressful Times. This interview will centre around the stress of parenting in this day and age and what we can do to help ourselves remain calm. Once again, due to my lack of technical help, I have postponed the interview. Andrew always added my introduction to the interview and the music at the end of the interview. If I don’t find a tech person to help, I will surely be able to figure this out once my daughters are in school. Until then, you can check out Shula and her work here.
This is my way to serve you. If you have any suggestions regarding topics you would like to have covered or questions you wish to ask, please do not hesitate to e-mail me at info@annewalsh.ca.
I look forward to seeing you in my groups or reading your comments.
Motherhood Doesn’t Have to Be a One-Woman Show,
Anne Walsh
www.annewalsh.ca
**If you are participating in my Families Connect Challenge, please follow the links below to see previous newsletters.
View July 2018 Edition
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